I’ve been thinking and it seems lately, especially in the beauty industry, everyone is concerned with looking perfect. There’s body-altering apps (photoshop for Instagram?) makeup “blurring” apps that promise to make your skin “flawless”, and body shaming all around (seriously… google thighbrow and see thousands of girls aiming to look desirable to… whom exactly?).
When it comes down to it we all struggle to be confident. Whether it’s something that has bothered you forever or a not-so-fun surprise (bloating, breakouts.. life happens) it’s easy to find yourself just trying to blend in with the crowd, to fade away. and hide anything that could make you different.
I argue to stand out and shine, it doesn’t matter your race, gender, age, body type… none of that matters. Each and every one of us is beautiful and unique and that is really what counts. The best part: even if you feel uncomfortable or lesser than somebody else you know (which is probably crazy and all in your head) it is still possible to make people believe you are the best thing to ever happen to them. Meet your new confident self.
We all know the old classic high-school movie plot: the awkward, frizzy-haired girl with braces and glasses spends her days blending in, carries a picture of the boy she has a major crush on but has never spoken to, and goes on some amazing adventure where she ends up magically getting everything she’s ever dreamed of. Lately, I’ve seen more and more movies where the main character is unapologeticly themselves- and pretty badass at that- who wins over everyone with their unique charm (think Emma Stone’s character in House Bunny). Both have one thing in common, it all ends with confidence. Everyone likes the girl or guy who is unafraid and unashamed, the one who speaks their mind, isn’t afraid to go all out, and dares to fall. Be that person! You won’t regret it.
Here are my tips how.
Don’t let your self worth be determined by “likes”.
Especially in the age of social media it seems one’s “likes” are becoming (in everyone’s mind) directly related to being acceptable. Lately I’ve read about girls and guys actually deleting pictures and posts who they love because it didn’t get adequate likes and comments. This is crazy! A picture may be worth a thousand words but is that really all you are? By all means feel free to snap and hashtag, but don’t set a requirement on your likes. If you like it, that’s all that should matter, because you’re pretty awesome.
An actor’s sole job is committing to being a convincing character. They portray their person’s traits, strengths, and weaknesses so strongly that we overlook their flaws. The girl with the dorky laugh? She’s the one who laughs the most, and everyone loves her for it. A person’s quirks and “strange” characteristics are what attract other people to them. Instead of trying to hide your (insert “flaw” here) put it on display for the world to see. If you love it so will they.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said “I’m sorry”. Sometimes I would even apologize for something I’ve done right like doing selling more than another salesmen at a job. That is, until the day a mentor pulled me aside and said to me “stop apologizing for everything! you haven’t even done anything wrong!” Then it hit me: we’re programmed to say “I’m sorry” it almost seems polite, but half the time we don’t even know what were apologizing for. Worse, when you constantly ask for forgiveness of another you are drawing more attention to what you are coming up short on, instead of showing others the great things you are doing. By asking for forgiveness for everything you do it can appear to another person that you don’t know what you’re doing and possibly not worth their time. If you make a major mistake own up to it, and learn from it. Otherwise, keep those two words from leaving your mouth and own what you do right.
Fake it until you make it.
Studies have proven that a simple smile can raise a persons mood whether they’re feeling happy or sad. Call it the placebo effect but the same has been said for confidence. Whether you are stressing a presentation or event, feeling like your skinny jeans are a little… skinny, or meeting someone for the first time plaster on a great big smile and tell yourself “I’ve got this, this is going to work out” and like magic it will. Just remember to carry yourself as a person who is naturally confident would: be direct, make eye contact, and stand up straight. These simple adjustments to your body language will convince everyone in the room that you are in charge and make you feel like you’re the boss. Now relax!
Did you know that people who identify themselves as grateful are shown to be happier and more confident? Instead of dwelling on the negative (what if something goes wrong?) focus your energy on the positive (thank god I have such great friends/family). You’re that much more likely to susceed when you’re focused on happy thoughts. A simple way to become more grateful is to make a list of things that you are thankful for and to keep it with you at all times. Feeling stressed? Rely on your list to get you back into the right mindset!
What tricks do you rely on to be confident? Let me know!
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